Woman spends over $400 on destination bachelorette party, doesn't make the cut for the wedding...

"Attended the bachelorette…didn’t make the cut for the wedding..."

One of the craziest things happened to my friends and I this year. Last year we went to the bachelorette party for a mutual friend of ours. We’ve known her for years, have travelled with her, kept up group chats despite living in different cities, and were excited to celebrate this.

We brought gifts, drove hours to participate, and spent $400+ on this bachelorette each. (Side note: never doing a destination bachelorette in my life. I urge you all to never do that either…why are you financially punishing your friends …) For added context, this is a wedding for two brides, so the Bach was a shared bachelorette for both brides.

At the bachelorette, we weren’t drinking and the other girls were. We thought this was fine and it was also explicitly understood before we went that we wouldn’t be drinking much or at all in my two friends’ case.

Well….. halfway through the Bach party our bride comes crying to us saying the other bride is frustrated that she is not “spending enough time with her” at the bachelorette (She’s going to be married to her for life allegedly….?) and I get the sense that it’s because of this natural divide between drinkers and non-drinkers, with our bride having the non-drinkers and therefore needing to “choose.”

We also barely got to see each other due to living in different cities, but she already lived with her now wife. I am bitter about that obv. Girl…you’ll see her at home…mind you at a dinner once a girl from the other bride’s side asks me outright why aren’t you drinking?

I found that classless and invasive. I’m not a sober person, but these friends and I don’t drink when we’re together. What if I was someone who struggled…? Why would you ask that?

This Bach party was a year prior to the planned wedding date. We all had the date in our calendars and knew we’d need to travel to her city to be there, so began planning on that. The year passed with her not responding to two of us or reaching out…

I started to suspect something but we literally were at the Bach party and had the wedding date marked on our calendars. My twin was getting married this summer too and I explicitly told them that I’d like to avoid the overlap of weddings as they planned theirs, since I knew I’d be traveling for this one…

Girl….the rsvp link drops to one of our friends out of the three of us. She shares it to our group since the wedding is extremely unstructured and she’s sharing it to multiple other people. I RSVP “yes" …I get this text…

She doesn’t reach out to our other friend at all. Literally at all. It’s just expected that I communicate to her that she’s also “not invited.” See how she says she wanted to avoid the situation? The plan was to be radio silent all along?

This is shocking to us. Initially, I responded like oh that's okay… but then I reflected and realized this was a burning of a bridge moment because we are being intentionally shut out and wouldn’t have been told if I hadn’t RSVP'd.

Notice how the story is that it’s close friends and family only…come to find out 150 people were invited, one of the brides also makes a Facebook post calling out her hateful bigoted cousin who got an invitation by ASKING TO GO ON FACEBOOK MESSENGER...

SO IN SUMMARY people who they didn’t even know well enough to know were fundamentally misaligned with their beliefs and values got a casual “sure” invitation via chat. Lmfao.

We haven’t hear ANYTHING from either of them since. I Venmo requested $350 back for a bachelorette refund but got denied. It was to be petty but also like I legitimately want that back now.

Unfortunately, we will probably never know the truth and never recoup our lost funds. I’ll never again think of a bachelorette party invitation as an automatic in to the wedding party either, much less the literal event itself. Let me know if you have similar experiences, trade me ur own juicy stories.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Buffycat646 said:

Who has a bachelorette party a full year before the wedding? Very odd.

WarWorld said:

I was once invited to a pretty good friends wedding but not invited to his Bachelor party only to find out our mutual friend was invited to the bachelor party but not the wedding. it was really awkward when we found that out.

YupNopeWelp said:

You'll never recoup the money. It's probably been too long since you got the bride's text, but I would have been tempted to reply, "Oh, I thought I was invited, because I never imagined you were so ill-mannered as to invite people to a bachelorette and expect them to pay for it, when they weren't invited to the wedding.

That's simply not done." At this point though, I'd let that sleeping dog lie. The wedding is all done, and it's not worth it. Look at it this way — for the low cost of $350, you got rid of a fake friend. That's priceless.

Saints2804 said:

I got invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding for my neighbor.