Wedding horror story: Groom ROASTS wife in a 40 min skit with the Best Man...

"Groom roasts wife in a 40 minute skit with the Best Man (including wigs)..."

I did not personally attend this wedding, but I've seen some of the raw, unedited footage. Boy, would I give anything to have been there though...Less than a month ago, my partner shot the wedding of an old colleague.

To paint a quick picture, it was around 100-130 guests at a nice outdoor venue in the Mediterranean. The couple is late 30s, Groom works in TV shows and the Bride idk but she and her family are very religious.

So religious, that they had invited a high ranking priest and the MOB speech was 7 minutes of her thanking said priest, the church, and name dropping other high appointed members/priests. Not once did she mention the couple, her daughter, their wedding lol, just the priests and church and maybe a Saint or two? I don't remember.

Also, speeches are not the norm here, in fact they're just starting to get traction (mostly due to social media I guess) so it gets even weirder when the Groom on his speech, after thanking them, informs the numerous guests from abroad that for the next half hour, they would have no clue what's happening and if they wanted to, they could ask other guests to translate for them...

So long story short, he starts doing basically a stand up show, where he opens with how they met on a dating app, and he only went on that first date because he had nothing else going on.

After some (okay, a lot) "I'm smart, she dumb" jokes, the Best Man took the role of the Bride in a cheap black wig and in a mockingly high pitched voice mocked things the Bride had said jn several different skits.

Like, the Groom would be saying how Bride is a case study because seemingly she suffers from everything, and the Best Man would go around saying "ouchie my back" or "my feetsies huwt," like so ridiculously made up to sound bad, and it just wasn't funny!

He basically critiqued everything the Bride did or said or wanted or thought, and there wasn't really a punchline, more like a "ma waif" (borat voice) types of "jokes." Even the ONE nice thing he said about/to her, wasn't actually nice!

So after over 30 mins of this, he turns to her and says that it's not all so bad, she's okay, and jokes and jokes on how to effectively SAY those things but not MEAN them to make wives happy.

She walks up from the table to where he is (that's all scripted BTW) acting annoyed with him so he puts his hands around her and says "you dummy, you know I love you" and she asks how much, so he says...

"From here to the parking lot over there!" in a voice implying it's a lot, then notices her sour face and quickly adds "And back!!" And now she's happy and kisses him and The End.

Again. This guy works on shows. I'm inclined to judge him even harsher for subjecting everyone to THAT, especially the many people not speaking the language. Or, and bare with me here, or he very, very successfully brought a European Michael Scott from The Office and absolutely nailed his method acting.

All in all, it was a tirade of cringe jokes and backhanded compliments to the Bride and narcissistic praise on himself. Oh, and the Best Man also took the role of MOG a few times, with my favorite being a bit where a young Groom refuses to eat his food and his mom yells at him. That's it. That's the joke. The dialogue was nothing more than "but I don't wanna" - "no, you eat."

This was all before the buffet, after 3 hours in church and driving to the venue and sitting through (long!) speeches. It added to the whole experience that the mics were crap and had feedback (I think?they kept screeching and fading in/out).There were laughs though, clearly.

Lots of times you could tell they were forced, but yea it's not like the room was silent. Mostly the close relatives/close friends would laugh, and mostly more inside-joke types, which were abnormally many for a crowd like that!

Honesty this is too long already, sorry, I wish I could include all the cringe but it's too long if I try to not lose it in translation. I felt very sorry for the Bride, I couldn't even look at her in the video most of the times from the second hand embarrassment.

But then again, she KNEW. She knew from before, she must've!! It was so long and elaborate, Groom and Best Man must have rehearsed a ton, and the scripted part... She knew...

Here's what people had to say to OP:

sonal1988 said:

It's amazing she married the buffoon.

SheiB123 said:

If that is the way he talks about her AT THEIR WEDDING in front of all their friends and family, I can only imagine how horrid he is to her in private.

ccc2801 said:

And being super religious she’s not gonna divorce him. If he’s like this in public, imagine how he treats her in private. It isn’t funny, it isn’t appropriate and even if she’s in on (some of) it, it isn’t a joke. And now she has to live with someone who derides her for the rest of her days.

Mikon_Youji said:

My fiance and I mock each other a lot in the privacy of our own home, but if he ever did something like that to me in front of other people I would never forgive him.

Horror_Signature7744 said:

The divorce clock starts ticking down the second disrespect enters the marriage. Sometimes it starts at the reception. Me? I would have noped the hell out and had it all annulled right there. Translate THAT.

punchinelli said:

This is the cringiest thing I've heard in a long time.

leddik02 said:

We should all thank the bride for sacrificing herself and taking him off the market.